Dealing with Women

 

Every woman has a bad mood someday. This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker or significant other! Women will understand this! Men should memorize it!

DANGEROUS	SAFER	SAFEST	ULTRA SAFE
What's for dinner?	Can I help you with dinner?	Where would you like to go for dinner?	Here, have some wine.
Are you wearing that?	Wow, you sure look good in brown!	WOW! Look at you!	Here, have some wine.
What are you so worked up about?	Could we be overreacting?	Here's my paycheck.	Here, have some wine.
Should you be eating that?	You know, there are a lot of apples left.	Can I get you a piece of chocolate with that?	Here, have some wine.
What did you DO all day?	I hope you didn't over-do it today.	I've always loved you in that robe!	Here, have some wine.

Jokes about wifes

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming...

1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,

2. Whenever you're right, shut up.

- Patrick Murra

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once....

- Nash

 First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!'

Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'

- Anonymous